They've Really Taken Censorship WAAAAY Too Far: Golden Age Cartoons

As is somewhat of a usual happenstance for me, I was in the process of researching another topic when I ran across a website called "The Golden Age of Cartoons". I have always been (and continue to be) a fan of the old cartoons from the 40s, 50s and early 60s. I remember sitting in front of my mother's portable black and white Zenith TV after school watching the old cartoons that often portrayed characatures of movie stars of the "Silver Screen" like Garbo, Gable and Jimmy Durante -- most of whom were still alive at that time...

I wasn't at all prepared, however, for the section of the website called "Censored Cartoons". In fact, I'm surprised that a huge bug didn't fly into my mouth as it was hanging open in disbelief for the better part of an hour as I skimmed through every, single cartoon listed in that section -- stopping every couple of minutes to cry out "Oh, my GAWD!" when I found a cartoon listed that I remembered (and, believe me, I remember PLENTY of 'em) and read how some paranoid, holier-than-thou, supremely egotistical, unbelievably presumptuous network censor has BUTCHERED it!

I am still in shock! I had NO IDEA that this was going on! I mean, sure, I KNOW about censorship but, I am aghast at the temerity of these people to even SUGGEST that they have the right to chop someone else's artwork up into unrecognizable pieces! (The unmitigated GALL!)

The following examples are taken directly from "A Guide To Censored Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies" listed on the goldenagecartoons.com website:

"Beep, Beep!" (Jones; 1952):

Nickelodeon: In the original version of this cartoon, Wile E. Coyote falls off of a cliff and before he hits gorge bottom, he swallows two Aspirin. Nickelodeon removed the Aspirin.

"Cats A-Weigh" (McKimson; 1953):

CBS: Sylvester corners a real mouse, who quickly eats some vitamins and begins throwing Sylvester against the ship's walls, creating what Junior terms "a good impression". Since CBS spliced away the vitamin-eating, the viewer had no idea what made the little mouse so strong.

"The Crackpot Quail" (Avery; 1941):

Syndication: When this cartoon was originally released, the quail would constantly make a razzing noise in order to keep his top knot from falling down over his eyes, but most re-issue copies seen today replace the razz with a whistle.

"Curtain Razor" (Freleng; 1949):

CN: The wolf drinking gasoline is gone.

Merrie Melodies: The scene in which the wolf drinks gasoline and swallows a match was gone, but not cut was his drinking of the atomic powder and TNT.

Nickelodeon: Missing was the bird version of Al Jolson talking about his "Mammy".

"A Day at the Zoo" (Avery; 1939):

CN: A visual gag of "smoking" camels is missing from this cartoon.

"Hare Splitter" (Freleng; 1948):

ABC: This was censored. When Casbah becomes wise to Bugs' trickery, he says, "You can't fool me no more. You're dat screwy rabbit," and readies to punch Bugs. Bugs dons a pair of glasses and says, "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?" Casbah responds by delivering a punch into Bugs' eyes, breaking the glasses, and Bugs utters, "You know, I believe he would."

"Hollywood Steps Out" (Avery; 1941):

WB: This cartoon was definitely missing two scenes: first, Greta Garbo offering to Cary Grant a cigarette and then lighting a match for him on her giant shoe; second, Harpo Marx giving to Garbo a hot-foot. Possible long-lost footage was missing between the scenes of Clark Gable sitting at a table and watching a woman walk past him and Bing Crosby introducing Leopold Stokowski, as well as after the scene which reveals Groucho Marx to be the woman whom Gable was following.

"The Rebel Without Claws" (Freleng; 1961):

CN: There is a fade to black before the Confederate officer can say, "Damn Yankees," and when Tweety says, "I tawt I taw a damn Yankee tat," the "damn" is missing.

Merrie Melodies: The scenes on the ship involving cannon blasts to Sylvester's face were omitted from the cartoon proper but included as a "Hip Clip" in another installment of Merrie Melodies.

WB: When the Confederate officer says, "Damn Yankees," the "damn" was deleted. Also, Tweety's line, "I tawt I taw a damn Yankee tat," was censored altogether.

Rookie Revue" (Freleng; 1941):

CN: In the series of mess hall gags, the scene featuring the "suicide squad" unhappily eating out of a large bowl labeled "Hash" is removed.

"Scent-imental Romeo" (Jones; 1951):

ABC: The female cat clubs Pepe in the head several times, causing Pepe to see multiple images of her. This act of violence was shortened considerably.

CN: The shot of Pepe Le Pew opening a bottle of champagne was cut.

"Southern Fried Rabbit" (Freleng; 1953):

CN: This scene is gone: To pass the Mason-Dixon Line guarded by Yosemite Sam, Bugs disguises himself as a black man playing a banjo and singing a somber song. Sam allows the supposed Negro ("One ofour boys") to pass into the South, until Bugs starts a rendition of "Yankee Doodle" and his "cover" is "blown". Bugs then acts like a poor slave ("Please don't beat me, massa! Don't beat this tired old body!") and places a whip in Sam's hands, before then appearing as Abraham Lincoln to scold Sam ("What's this I hear about you whippin' slaves?"). The first instance of Yosemite Sam yelling, "Charge!" has now been removed, probably because of the Confederate flag which is seen at that point in the cartoon when it is watched uncut.

Merrie Melodies: Same edit to the "slave scene" as on CN. Plus, Sam being blasted by a cannon was replaced by a still shot of Bugs as the Southern belle.

WB: Same edit as on CN.

I gotta tell ya, the thought terrifies the hell outta me that there might be factions of (presumably) parents out there who don't think their own offspring have enough sense to know the difference between what they see in some silly, little cartoon and how things are in REAL LIFE.

The reason WHY a (supposedly) functioning, adult (well, "adult" enough to have engaged in the act of procreation, apparently...) would believe their kid is going to run right out and and stick a piece of dynamite down somebody's throat (or light up a cigarette, take a bottle of pills or hit someone over the head with an umbrella 16 times) just because they saw a cartoon character doing it on TV completely BAFFLES me!

If I was a kid, I would be TERRIBLY insulted and HURT that my own parents thought of me as a total idiot devoid of any SHRED of common sense or moral character.

If their kids are really THAT confused, it shouldn't take a "rocket surgeon" to figure out that they need to find more time in their busy workaday schedules to sit down with their kids and make a SERIOUS EFFORT to explain the fundamental differences between "all that fantasy stuff" and "all this real stuff" (or they might consider just cuttin' back on the kid's Ridilin and Ding-Dong rations, fer cryin' out loud).

But I worry that there are far SCARIER things these kids (with parents who obviously don't have a CLUE how to go about raising responsible adults) could inflict upon an unsuspecting society than hittin' their little brother over the head a couple of times with an umbrella.

I mean, if their own moms and dads don't trust 'em, how in the hell are WE supposed to?

The "Ostrich Method" of discipline doesn't even work for OSTRICHES. "Outta sight, outta mind" only works for as long as it takes the kid to pick up that next magazine, hear that next TV commercial, read that next billboard or see that next MTV video.

I'd be willing to bet that these are the same parents who run around frantically stowing their Drano and bleach in secret hiding places rather than just sitting down with their kids, SHOWING them all that nasty stuff, EXPLAINING what it is and what it does and then just teaching them how to SMELL THINGS before they put 'em in their mouths.

Gee, that whole "secret hiding place thing" worked so WELL with the kids' Christmas presents (because NONE of us EVER found any of our OWN Christmas presents before Christmas that were hidden in our parents' closets, did we?), I can certainly see why they'd want to revive the process for the HOUSEHOLD POISONS.

The particular cartoon "cuts" that spread the scrumptious icing of INDIGNATION right across my OWN personal cake, however, were the ones requiring you to take about three giant LEAPS beyond what ANYBODY would consider a normal person's mental association of words and ideas and then STREEEEEETCH as far as you can reach on your tiptoes to reach the same conclusion that the censors did.

And, even then, I STILL come up empty handed for ANY valid reason WHY one musn't show a huge can of "hash" on the supper table in a mess hall full of GIs or (heaven FORBID) a quail blowing that little black feather they all have on their heads outta his face.

I guess there's a special place in HELL for those cartoonists depraved enough to graphically portray quail feathers blowing around. They're probably forced to spend all eternity bunking with those OTHER evil cartoonists who blatantly exhibit cartoon mice taking vitamins pills. (The PERVERTS!)

I'm not sure what anyone can do at this point to stem the already devastating loss some of these old cartoon artworks have suffered.

The author of the "Golden Age of Cartoons" website, "Jon", suggests that, in many cases, the original versions may no longer even exist. But, I'm all for organizing against this practice. As a matter of fact, I already have an idea for our "rallying cry": "Da wabbit kicked da bucket! Da wabbit kicked da bucket!"

The Indelible Truths of Tomorrow…

• Florida’s 2000 election results were tampered with under the supervision of members of the Bush family.
• A Boeing 747 was accidentally shot down by a United States military sea-launched missile during training maneuvers near Long Island, New York, on July 17th, 1996, killing all 230 passengers aboard.
• Physical evidence from Roswell, New Mexico, of the crashsite of a flying saucer piloted by beings from another planet has been in the hands of the United States military since 1947.
• Marilyn Monroe was murdered by agents of the United States government when her romantic involvements with both John and Robert Kennedy were threatened with public exposure.
• Lee Harvey Oswald did not act alone in the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.
• Jack Ruby assassinated Lee Harvey Oswald under orders from agents of the United States government.
• 9/11 was orchestrated by agents of our own government.
• United Airlines Flight 93 was shot down over rural Pennsylvania on September 11th, 2001, by a missile launched from a US military aircraft.

The list of conspiracy theories tied to virtually every major event, organization and well-known person in history is incredibly long and varied. They seem to be everywhere as they beckon to us from the headlines of “yellow journals” in the checkout news stand at the local grocery store and lurk in shadowy, nefarious corners of the Internet. Indeed, conspiracy theories seem to have the uncanny ability to materialize from the minds and tongues of just about anyone at any time and in any place where human beings gather to discuss common concerns.

The credit for many different words and phrases found in common use today can be traced directly back to their roots in conspiracy theory: “Area 51”, “The Illuminati”, “grassy knoll”, “shadow government”, “men in black”, “skull and bones”, “New World Order”, “black ops” and “X files” (to name but a few).

The image of anyone associated with conspiracy theories is so ingrained into popular culture that, if you say the words “conspiracy theorist” to the average person on the street, I’d be willing to bet the image that is brought to their mind includes either a sweatshirt-hooded “Unibomber” with dark, wraparound sunglasses, a short-haired, baseball cap and plaid shirt-wearing “survivalist” or a pasty-skinned, overweight “computer geek” with taped-together reading glasses…

Are these images fair and accurate, do you think?

I wonder . . . because, curiously, within the collective mind of the public, there appears to be an unspoken, yet generally accepted, consensus that there are varying “degrees” of conspiracy theorism…

While some random sampling of the general population might have no trouble at all in conceding the possibility -- probability, even -- of J. Harvey Oswald not acting alone in the assassination of JFK, that same segment would probably react with immediate and intense disapproval and disgust at the notion of representatives of the United States government being directly involved in the events of 9/11.

If we are to discern whether or not we are guilty of “generalizing” as to the moral characters, relative intelligence levels and psychological profiles of those who advocate certain theories based upon their belief in the involvement (or lack of it) of some type of political conspiracy, it behooves us to ask ourselves a serious question:

“If there comes a time when someone’s particular assertion -- previously branded as a ‘conspiracy theory’ -- actually comes to pass, do we then remove the label of ‘conspiracy theorist’ from our collective mental characterizations of the person or do the unsavory aspects of that label remain which color our future perceptions?”

Because we, as a nation, very much need to admit the possibility that the crazy conspiracy theories of yesterday sometimes become the sad, indelible truths of tomorrow…

Before the U.S.’s invasion of Iraq and subsequent deposing of Saddam Hussein, the hypothesis put forth by a fairly large chunk of the politically-Liberal population was that there were no “weapons of mass destruction” which would justify such an overtly aggressive military action on our part.

Those who publicly voiced this particular hypothesis at the time were squelched by a larger segment of our population -- either by being summarily dismissed as “crazy conspiracy theorists” and “left wing nuts” or by being informed, emphatically and vociferously, that our leaders “would never lie to us about such a thing” and invade a sovereign country of no immediate threat to us.

…the crazy conspiracy theories of yesterday sometimes become the sad, indelible truths of tomorrow…

After he took up residence in the U.S., Beatle John Lennon was branded as “paranoid” when he announced he felt that he was under surveillance by U.S. government agents and felt that he had been singled out unfairly for deportation proceedings by the Immigration and Naturalization Dept. As it turned out, John’s troubles with the INS and the addition of his name to J. Edgar Hoover’s infamous FBI “blacklist” were personally arranged by President Richard Nixon because of John Lennon’s outspoken criticism of the Viet Nam War and Nixon’s perception that he wielded “too much power over the younger generation”.

…the crazy conspiracy theories of yesterday sometimes become the sad, indelible truths of tomorrow…

During the initial escalations of the Viet Nam War effort by President Lyndon Johnson, many political Liberals insisted that the “Gulf of Tonkin Incident” (cited by the Johnson Administration as the motivation behind the drafting of “The Gulf of Tonkin Resolution” -- the document used to sanction the escalations) had either been made-up entirely or blown completely out of proportion. During the ensuing years, these proponents of the creation of an intentionally-engineered incident by which the Administration justified its military escalations of the War were also branded with names akin to “crazy conspiracy theorists”…

In the mid-1990s, former Secretary of Defense under President Johnson, Robert McNamara, published In Retrospect: The Tragedy and Lessons of Vietnam, a book in which he stated that U.S. military involvement in the war had been “terribly wrong.” McNamara also admitted in the book that a decision had consciously been made in Johnson's own office to withhold information from the Congress of the United States and the American public concerning the reasons behind the escalation of the War.

…the crazy conspiracy theories of yesterday sometimes become the sad, indelible truths of tomorrow…

In November of 1986, a Lebanese magazine made the shocking assertion that -- under orders from National Security Advisor Robert McFarlane and his successor, Vice-Admiral John Poindexter -- Lt. Colonel Oliver North of the U.S. National Security Commission had brokered specifically forbidden arms sales to Iran to the tune of some $30 million in profits. Even more shocking, the report went on to say that the entire amount had been secretly turned over to Nicaraguan Right-wing “Contra” guerillas to aid in their efforts to overthrow their established “Sandinista” government (an act that was also strictly forbidden by the “Boland Amendment” passed by Congress in 1984) because agents of the then-Administration of U.S. President Ronald Reagan believed the Sandinista government leaned just a bit too far toward the political Left.

Every effort was then made by the Reagan Administration to deny the allegations and discredit the source of the article; however, later that same month, Attorney General Edwin Meese determined that the illegal sale of arms to Iran and the additionally illegal transfer of those funds to the Contras had indeed taken place.

While indictments of culpability for these acts never extended as high as the Cabinet or President Reagan himself, the “Tower Commission Report”, a special Congressional investigative panel’s final determination document, did conclude that, at the very least, President Reagan, his advisors and Cabinet Officers had demonstrated a complete lack of control over the blatantly illegal actions of the NSC and the CIA.

The indictment and conviction of Lt. Colonel North were later overturned by a higher court and McFarlane, Poindexter and other participants in the scandal were granted personal presidential pardons by the newly-elected President, George Herbert Walker Bush (Vice-President under Ronald Reagan), almost immediately after being sworn in as President.

…the crazy conspiracy theories of yesterday sometimes become the sad, indelible truths of tomorrow…

We must always keep in mind that when we speak of “the U.S. government”, we are really talking about the people who are employed by it and the people who administrate it. “The Government” can’t really do anything… “The Government” is an inanimate object -- incapable of performing illegal or unconscionable acts; however, the people who run it are another story… They are human beings… And, as such, they are subject to all of the frailties and potential for moral corruption to which all human beings are subject.

That is why it is the duty of every, single U.S. citizen to be vigilant, observant and exacting in their assessment of the actions taken by their government and always with an eye to The Constitution of the United States of America and its stated dedication to equal justice under the law, individual civil rights and the principles of Freedom, Liberty and Equal Opportunity -- not just for the citizens of our own country but for each and every human being on the face of the planet.

That is why words such as “our leaders would never lie to us about such a thing” have no place here… Words such as these make us complacent, lazy and detached in what should be our fierce promotion and defense, should that become necessary, of the sacred truths upon which this country was founded.

We must never forget that…the crazy conspiracy theories of yesterday sometimes become the sad, indelible truths of tomorrow…and it’s up to each and every one of us to do our utmost to make certain things don’t turn out that way…